On turning one.

I've been having some great conversations with Roman lately, sometimes they are very light-hearted, "Don't put that in your mouth honey." or, "How did you get the telephone?" followed by,  "Who did you just call?" and his response it always the same, a big toothy grin and some clapping. That's good enough for me. 
Some of our conversations have gotten a little deeper though, "When did you get that dimple?" or "Your hair is basically white..did you know that?" followed by, "PLEASE DON'T TURN ONE!"

I've been through this, I know what happens after they turn one. They turn two. And immediately after that, they turn three. I'VE SEEN IT HAPPEN!!

Roman shouldn't turn one for the following reasons:
1: I am not mentally stable enough to conduct myself in a professional manner around family and friends who have come to celebrate.
2: Because when Roman turns one, and loses his soft spot...How will I know if his shunt is malfunctioning? How will I be able to tell the difference between the flu, and shunt failure?
3: I am not mentally stable enough to tell strangers at Wal-mart that, "He's one." Can't do it.
4: I am not mentally stable enough to deal with rapid change.
5: I am not mentally stable enough to answer "Not yet." when people ask, "is he walking yet?" I will cry in front of you, mark my words.
6: I'm not even convinced it's been a whole year! I need more proof.



So you see my problem? Roman can NOT turn one. I need more time.


I'm losing it.